Are yours on the list?
The motherhood penalty is more than just a pay cut. Mothers who also do paid work are not only paid less than men (regardless of parental status) and women without children, they are also less likely to be promoted, get raises, and hold the highest positions in a company, and they are more likely to be perceived as being less competent and less committed to their work. The current American workplace is largely unfriendly to working mothers, so we examined self-reported data from thousands of moms in our dataset to understand what they want from their employers.
The top five things working mothers want from their employers
1. Paid time off (sick days, personal days, vacation days)
2. Flexible work hours (the ability to set your schedule as long as you get your work done)
3. The people you work with (respectful, professional, and unbiased coworkers)
4. Equal opportunities for women and men (promotions, leadership roles, salary increases, incentive programs, etc.)
5.The ability to telecommute (flexibility to work remotely)
Paid time off is not only what working mothers want most from their employers, it’s the number-one priority among working women overall. We consider this one of the “bread and butter” benefits—ample paid time away from the office allows women to balance a career with the life they want. And for working mothers, this affords time for being a parent.
If you have a friend in an abusive relationship, you might feel scared, hopeless, and most of all, helpless. Whether the intimate partner violence in question is physical, emotional, economic, or falls into multiple categories, you may be at a complete loss as to what you can do.
The best ways to show up for your friend will depend on your relationship, the nature of the abuse, and what stage your friend is on in their journey. “There’s no cookie-cutter approach,” Arlene Vassell, vice president of Programs, Prevention, and Social Change at the National Domestic Violence Resource Center (NDVRC), tells SELF.
With that in mind, “most of the time, what you’re trying to do is build trust,” Vassell explains. “Your goal as a friend is to create a space where someone will open up to you and to support and empower them.” Here, domestic violence counselors and a survivor share what you can say to get closer to this goal, plus some sentiments to avoid.
Getty/Fanatic Studio/Gary Waters/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY
Don't have a kettlebell? Quick, go get one!
By Roxie Jones, CPT May 22, 2019
Time: 10 to 20 minutes
Equipment: Kettlebell (If you’re new to using kettlebells, go for 4 kg to 12 kg. If it’s too easy and your form is perfect, try going up in weight by 2 to 4 kg.)
Good for: Full body
Instructions: Choose five moves below. Then, do 15 reps each, for as many rounds as possible (AMRAP) in 10 minutes.
Alternatively, you can do 12 to 15 reps, then continue to the next move. Repeat the entire five-move circuit three to four times.
Roxie Jones—NASM-certified trainer, SoulCycle Instructor, and Talent Hackambassador—is sharing her go-to moves. Sprinkle these exercises into your leg routine two to three times a week, or create a focused kettlebell workout for max results.
PHOTO: Kathryn Wirsing
If you're thinking about getting on that workout grind for the very first time ever, congratulations—from taking care of your mental health to getting better sleep to keeping your heart healthy, there are a ton of reasons to make working out a part of your life. We also know that getting started can be incredibly overwhelming—it feels like there's a whole world of fitness out there that you've never really explored. How do you take that first step in?
Well, the fact that there is a whole world of fitness out there is a beautiful thing. It means you have so many options, that you can customize your workout plan exactly the way you want to. Whether you end up loving morning or night workouts, running or boxing, group classes or at-home videos, there's no one "right way" to embrace fitness. The best way to learn what works for you is to just get out there and try it—which is both the hardest and the most important step.
If you have no idea where to get started, consider this your road map to finding a workout routine that you can stick to. With a little patience, consistency, and sweat, you'll forget what life was like before you started working toward your fitness goals.
SELF September 15, 2017, By Alexa Tucker
The answer is surprisingly reassuring and it's just a 7-minute read well worth the time.
Getting tested for sexually transmitted infections is hella important. Is it the most delightful way to spend your time? No. Is it a vital part of looking after your health, sexual and otherwise? Absolutely. When you go in for routine STI testing, you might realize that your doctor doesn’t test you for herpes. What’s up with that? As it turns out, testing for herpes isn’t as straightforward as testing for something like chlamydia or gonorrhea. Here, doctors explain why herpes isn’t usually included on STI panels. What you need to know about herpes and how it’s transmitted. Two versions of the herpes simplex virus can cause this infection, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC): herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) and herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2). Staying safe while avoiding panic and stigma get the details here.
PHOTO: Tim Pannell/Fuses/Getty Images/ Self Mag Herpes
On days when exercise is at the bottom of your priority list and making it to a fitness class on time presents a scheduling nightmare, a HIIT workout can be your saving grace. Obviously, you can also skip your workout, and you should never feel guilty for doing so. But if you're someone who feels a little less stressed and a little more in control of a busy day after fitting in time to sweat, then a HIIT workout is pretty much your best option.
HIIT, or high-intensity interval training, is a workout style that involves brief bursts of high-intensity intervals followed by brief periods of low-intensity recovery. The biggest draw of HIIT is that it lets you fit in more work in less time. Since you give close to 100 percent of your effort during each high-intensity burst, your heart rate skyrockets and your muscles fatigue pretty quickly. And yes, that means the workout is going to be challenging—but on the upside, HIIT workouts are typically really short.
Gerren Liles, a NASM-certified personal trainer at Mirror, says that HIIT is a go-to for most fitness professionals because it’s one of the best ways to raise your heart rate and improve strength and performance. "Incorporating HIIT twice a week, along with pure strength training, mobility work, and proper recovery will create a healthy, well-rounded individual with the confidence and stamina to take on the world," Liles says.
And your HIIT workouts don't need to be complicated. In fact, since you're working really intensely, it's almost better to stick with less equipment and focus on basic movements. That way, you don't need to worry about form as much and can just really give it your all.
The dumbbell HIIT workout below, which Liles created for SELF, includes compound exercises that work for multiple muscle groups at once and moves that target specific muscle groups. It only requires one pair of medium-weight dumbbells and will take you just 10 minutes to do. It's also scalable for all fitness levels, he adds. "I use all of these full-body exercises (and more), in my MIRROR classes," Liles says. Each circuit in the workout includes two dynamic (moving) exercises and a static hold. "After the intense, dynamic exercises, the static hold is a smart way to wring the last bit of juice out of your muscles, where you are challenging them to stabilize while in a fatigued state," says Liles.
Photo: Katie Thompson, Self
Until very recently, I was a total yoga recluse. For six years, I practiced yoga on an almost-daily basis—all from the comfort of my bedroom. It wasn’t a true party of one: my well-worn mat and private instructor, YouTube, were steady allies. But my ventures into live classes with other humans were rare and sporadic.
Then, in December 2018, I decided to do something truly out of character: I signed up for a 200-hour yoga teacher training. Something inside of me knew it was time to deepen my practice. It wasn’t quite a desire to teach (that seemed too far of a stretch at the time) but more of a growing hunger to more intimately understand a practice that I originally began to improve my fitness but had become so much more meaningful to my life. After devouring YouTube classes for years, it was high time to venture into yoga society...even if deep down I sort of felt like a faker. Want to try it? Here's the list.
While you are there check out some of our great Herstory interviews from members of the Out The Door Morning Briefs collective.
PHOTO: Getty Images/ mapodile
For most of my life, my relationship with exercise was defined by a simple rule: calories in, calories out. I only exercised when I wanted to eat highly caloric foods or binge drink, and my workouts consisted of furiously flinging my legs back and forth on the elliptical as punishment for even fantasizing about a decadent meal. Even with the aid of Law & Order: SVU reruns streaming on the TV, I’d count down the minutes until the agony was over. Unsurprisingly, I hated exercising. I cared about seeing how many calories I had burned during a cardio session, but just about everything else about working out made me absolutely miserable.
I wish I could introduce Julia at 24, depressed and lethargic and seeing calories as the enemy, to now-Julia, 29, a certified indoor cycling instructor who teaches group classes six days a week with a big smile on her face. Beyond teaching, my own fitness routine includes a mix of time on the bike, rowing classes, boot camp classes, and running in Central Park.
Whereas five years ago, working out daily was an unimaginable feat, today it’s an integral part of my life. More important, it’s an activity that makes me happy. While accepting and loving the way my body looks will always be a work in progress for me (like it is for so many other people), I can now say that I do truly love to exercise for how it makes me feel—so much so that I made it my side hustle.
That love didn’t blossom overnight. Rather, it took a lot of small changes in my daily routine and progressive changes to my mindset that occurred over the course of five years. Ultimately, these changes have helped me develop a positive relationship with exercise instead of seeing it as a necessary evil or punishment.
Self, May 3, 2019 By Julia Sullivan
Photo: Heather Hazzan, Self
No weights? No equipment? No problem. You don’t need fancy tools—or any tools at all, for that matter—to get a great total-body workout.
So says Simone De La Rue, trainer to Jennifer Garner, Emmy Rossum, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, among others, and founder of the Body By Simone fitness method, which combines dance, cardio, and strength training.
“It still amazes me that you can get such a great workout by using your own body weight,” De La Rue wrote in an Instagram caption on Friday, alongside a video of her demoing a three-part plank workout that—you guessed it—is done sans any sort of machinery.
“I would do core exercises all day every day if I could,” De La Rue wrote of the circuit, which includes pike toe taps, plank to runner’s lunges, and plank knee to leg extensions. “Oh wait I do," she added.
When performed together, the three moves in this sequence target several major muscles in your core, including your internal and external obliques (the muscles on the side of your abdomen), transverse abdominis (the deepest ab muscle that wraps around your sides and spine), rectus abdominis (what you think of when you think "abs"), and erector spinae (a set of muscles in your lower back), Mike Clancy, NYC-based certified strength and conditioning specialist, tells SELF.
More than 20 muscles comprise the core, Clancy says, and each plays an important role in helping the entire unit work as effectively as possible. That’s why it’s important to do exercises like these that target various muscle groups within the core, and not just the abs. Plus, having an overall strong core will improve your ability to perform other movements in the gym as well as move about daily life more easily and efficiently.
“For sedentary people, a strong core can help to prevent injury and protect the spine,” De La Rue tells SELF via email. “Working the core is beneficial to your posture, as all strength and movement should initiate from the core.”
PHOTO: Amber Venerable